PRICELESS

[Has it ever happened to you?]

Tell me, why am I unable
To unstick the sticky label
That is stuck to every newly-purchased thing?
And why does each salesperson
Conspire to put a curse on
Me by sticking labels to each thing they bring?

When I contemplate adhesive
My ire becomes increasive,
As I grapple on with nail and claw and tooth.
When they say the glue is plastic
My reply is brief but drastic,
And my language, all unstuck, becomes uncouth.

"Use white spirit!", they all tell me.
If I do, for HOURS you'll smell me
As I scrabble to obliterate each label.
This advice, quite diabolic,
Turns my spirit alcoholic,
Till I'm canned and marked and labelled: "Quite unable".

Please, will someone help and guide me,
For I'm getting quite beside me.
At each sticking point I need to keep my pluck up.
Can't they write the price in pencil?
Or with chalk? Or through a stencil?
Quick! A solvent - lest I'm terminally stuck up.
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