FAITH FLUORESCENT

[as long as it's A.M.D.G ...]

In the City, a lady named Alice
Enhanced the Episcopal Palace
By painting on spots
And huge fluorescent dots,
Which was done just for fun, and not malice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AIRBORNE ERROR

[Limericks are fun ... ]

A sinner took off on a flight,
But he'd never done anything right.
Next morning at seven
He landed in Heaven,
And they threw him straight out -
serve him right!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UNNOTICEABLE

[To honour an entirely
supererogatory
notice on a nearby wall]

That large notice attached to the wall
Serves no useful purpose at all:
Those who would obey
Would do so anyway,
While the rest take no notice at all ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPSTAGED

[I knew him well ... ]

An Actor declared his conclusion
That first night mishaps were illusion,
Till, on stage and at table,
He bit through a cable.
Now his teeth are in permanent fusion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHORALE

[And what a wonderful sound it is!]

There is praise from the crypt to the spire
As the trebles rise higher and higher,
And the tenors and basses
Fill God’s blessed spaces
With the pure, soaring notes of the Choir.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SET UP

[Useful chap, this]

A talented young set designer
Said: “No-one builds sets that are finer.
Give me paint and some pails
And some ancient bent nails,
And I’ll build you a whole ocean liner!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

USEFUL OR NOT?

[Bit of an identity crisis?]

At the risk of becoming a bore,
Dear Lord, may I ask one thing more?
Despite blessings abundant,
I feel quite redundant.
Please, Lord, tell me what I am for?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THOUGHTFUL LIMERICK

[Makes you think, hmmm?]

My friends, may I tell you just what
A curious thought I have got?
That the birds and the bees
And the clouds and the trees
Will all be still here, when I’m not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CREATION CONTEMPLATION

[Vague thoughts ... ]

Said the Lord, as He gazed on Creation,
“They all seem quite hell-bent on damnation.
They’re wrecking my Heaven,
To use as a leaven
Global warming and endless inflation!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PONDERING

[Anyone got an answer?]

I know I’m a mindless old clod
When I ponder the greatness of God.
Can His mercy infinite
Enfold me within it?
That’s a thought to this clod that’s most odd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAIKO FREE

[The truth is, of course, that I find
the Haiko quite incomprehensible]

I cannot relate to the Haiko,
Although I may earnestly try to.
Instead I will stick
With the dear Limerick,
So, fond final farewell to the Haiko.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LADDY'S LIMERICK

[I wish I'd met him ... ]

A bold, lively laddy from Glevum
Loved ladies, and hated to grieve ‘em.
He sowed his wild oats
From Greyfriars to Blackcoats,
And the lies - oh so deftly he’d weave ‘em!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LOCAL LIMERICK

[I do like Limericks - do you?]

An extravagant lady from Gloucester
Had parents who wished they had lost her,
‘Cos she cost ’em a mint
As she spent without stint,
That egregious young lady from Gloucester.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~