FRIENDLY PERSUASION

[With friends like this ... ]
I asked my friend: "Now tell me true -
Do I look my best in blue?"
My friend said: No - you've always been
Best in palest shades of green!"
I asked her: "Are these heels too high?
She said: "They show your bulging thigh!"
I asked her: "Do you like this coat?"
She said: "It looks like homespun goat!"

I said: “Is this skirt too long, please?"
She said: "No, dear - it hides your knees!"
I said: "Is my hair nice like that?"
She said: "No, dear: just wear a hat!"
My friend was very dear to me,
That she knew best was clear to me.
And when she said: "Your clothes won't DO!"
I thought that what she said was true.

To please my friend was my great passion:
That, and staying in the fashion.
I showed my friend my nice new man.
She said: "I'd lose him if you can!"
But when I told my man: "Be gone!" -
My friend was there to take him on.
There's only one way this could end.
I kept my clothes and changed my friend.
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